Hello boys, this is Phineas O'Meal, president & CEO of the Malt 'O Meal corporation. I wanted to write & let you know how pleased I was to hear you praising my 'Blueberry Muffin Tops' cereal. I apologize for not writing sooner but I've been confined to an iron lung for the past 7 years and have to write by tapping out each letter with a stylus attached to my forehead.
The Muffin Tops cereal didn't come about through some fancypants focus group research; in fact, I conceived of it as a young boy. You see, the 'O Meal family was very poor seein' as how Daddy was in an avant-garde mime troupe and Mummenschanz didn't play too well in western Wyoming in the 1940's. My dear mother had to make every penny stretch and so she filled the muffin tins with clay from the floor of our simple cabin and poured what little batter she could scratch together over the top.
People ask me why all my cereals are placed at the bottom of the grocery aisle - simply put, I have to be wheeled through the store in this metal contraption and my range of vision is limited. I'll be damned if I'm going to only eat bulk rice or the Campbell's soups that happen to fall near the end of the alphabet.
Well, I've babbled on enough. You boys keep up the good work and enjoy the cereal. And remember that my dear mother's love is in every bite, God rest her soul.
No comments:
Post a Comment