The Potato Chip Cartel

Several days ago, I was witness to the whole lot of you laughing like a bunch of mincing schoolgirls at the thought of a 'potato-chip cartel'. Let me assure you, boys, that such an organization is all too real. Several years ago, I invented with the assistance of my son and business partner, H.W., a chip fashioned from slurry that bore a lightness and crunch superior to that produced by the potato barons. No sooner had we gone to market than these tyrants sent their jackbooted thugs over to crush the whole lot. I responded with fisticuffs in kind and sent these whelps packing back to their masters. Let me tell you something you children, you bunch of half-wits, if you have a vat of potato slurry and I have a vat of potato slurry, and I have a straw that reaches aaaaaalll the way to Joystiq H.Q., I drink your potato slurry! I DRINK IT UP!!!