Messrs. Grant, Kietzmann, McElroy and Miller:
This Friday Past I received a wax cylinder in the post containing your
latest missives from the Exposition of Mechanical Entertainments.
Intrigued, I mounted the cylinder into my phonograph and commenced to
tossing the medicine ball about as is my habit. No sooner had I
hoisted the ball aloft when my ears were assaulted by a cacophony such
that I was sure that the local milliner had pierced his hand with a
hat-pin. I'm not sure what broadsheet you rapscallions write for but
I do expect a modicum of quality in any reportage to which I am
subjected. This bit of fishwife's offal was hardly worth the tin of
mustache wax into which I disposed of its charred remains. Good day
to you sirs, and good riddance!
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